WELCOME TO AUNTIE ASTRID'S ANGST ARENA

Hi!!

Welcome to Auntie Astrid's Angst Arena - a forum where our guinea pig guru - Auntie Astrid answers reader's problems. The first comes from Leticia - a lady bird, based in Crewe.

Dear Auntie Astrid,

I'm a clairvoyant ladybird and have recently started dating this lovely Deathwatch beetle called Frank. I think that we could make a lovely couple, but I'm tempted to look into the future to see what happiness or unhappiness lies ahead of us. Would you advise me to do this or would you say that I might actually end up jeopardising any potential future by being suspicious from the outset? What is more, my crystal ball is made from a marble and sometimes gives incorrect readings. Should I get a new one?

Yours in hope,

Leticia Ladybird x



Dear Leticia

If I had a penny for each letter I received that was identical to this, I would have, well, thruppence. Your powers are a gift and you must use them wisely.

I feel communication lies at the root of many of your problems. You must learn to communicate with your crystal ball in terms it will understand – for example, you wish to know whether your young beetle is for "keepsies" or for "quitsies". But instead of communicating with your marble, try communicating with Frank.

From your letter I sense you are already suspicious of your relationship and fear that it will fail. Approach your new relationship with an open mind and heart and expect the unexpected. It's all part of the experience!

A.A.

Transcribed by Paul Chandler. Thank you to Gareth Bellis, Auntie Astrid’s manager for his help in putting this section together…

PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED IN THE MOUSE OF COMMONS NOVEL: MOUSE TALES AND MICE TAILS.

AUNTIE’S TIP OF THE WEEK: NEVER STEAL ANOTHER MAN’S RHUBARB; FOR THIS CAN ONLY LEAD TO TROUBLE!